I apologized for not blogging lately, a bit strange to pause the blog after the small misunderstanding.
Actually It is very small, after awhile when I think of it, I felt easy for misunderstanding it as It is just a small matter. Guess It is true, when you have a lot of stress emotionally, everything that happen to you make it seen like it is against you.
Unexpected news
My grandpa been diagnosed with 4th stage cancer, he's in the hospital for quite a while now, everyday he wishes to come home. Doctor keep saying you be able to tomorrow, but when the day arrives his blood pressure & sugar is too low and dangerous for him to come back home. So they put a bag of drips, telling us once he finished two bags of drip he able to go home. But by the time it's finishes, it's another day again and his blood sugar still wasn't enough to support him so it goes on and on.
I went to visit him on the 2nd February, no one is there as everyone is at work. my mum, sister and i went together. Grandpa is sitting on his bed by himself, fiddling with an unknown thread that came out from the trousers end.
We greet him, and I sat next to him. Mum made him some noodles but he doesn't want any. I sat next to him and as usual the same thing he asked me is if I have eaten. "Yes I did grand-pa, but I heard you haven't"
He then explained how he really can't eat anything, the feeling of helpless and he can't control it even though he really tried to eat. But it's just not an easy task.
Do not be afraid about how it looks. Just do it quietly and unobtrusively.
A true or act of kindness comes from your heart, it doesn't matter what others say or think
I was quite upset at mum for a moment because she keep sitting at the corridor and talking to her sisters A,B & C on the phone complaining about how sisters D & E didn't do this and that, how D & E sister's children never come and visit etc. And telling everyone she visited today, mum barely even comes in to speak to grand-dad as she's too busy on the phone.
I went over, I told her to go in and stay by the bed for awhile.
She start saying how sisters D & E keep showing off they drive multiple cars per family to visit grand-pa, which sounds to her like they trying to show off, and D & E hinting to other sisters how my mum didn't come and visit as much as them. But the next thing you know it lead to topic that happened ages ago, before I even born.
I explained to mum, it's fine. Just go accompany grand-pa.
She was still annoyed so I got a bit unhappy with her actions and said to her,
"It doesn't matter what people think, our family doesn't have a single car like others, but that's a fact.
We might not be able to visit as much as them. But as long we know that we care, how much he meant to us.. it doesn't matter what others think"
I was trying to make her understand, doing something right need not be announced or acknowledged.
Even if no one know, they can say whatever as it's freedom of speech.
As long when we, ourselves, when we put our hand on our heart we know we didn't do anything bad in our life and only the goods.
It's alright to be cheeky with friends/partner like LOOK HOW GREAT I AM ^^
It's only a joke and it's funny anyway hehe
What grand-pa says...
I sat next to grand-pa, by myself.
His eyes is closing. He then turned around to me, and looked..
I whispered to him, "You must be tired, close your eyes and rest a bit."
He shake his head, and said to me
Grand-pa with a sad face: "When can i go home? Can you tell them to let me go home?"
I said sadly..: "The doctor said maybe tomorrow, if you try to eat something."
Grand-pa: "I can't eat, i have no appetite when I see food"
Me said sadly: "I know, grand-pa..., I will try speak to doctor, see if there's anyway"
Grandpa nodded...
he then placed his hand on his chest and said, "I don't smoke, I don't drink"
after he places his palm together and pray, "Please, please.. I never do any bad thing in my life, why does it have to happen to me."
It is true, grand-pa never do anything bad. He is always a good man, the pure kindness you can barely see around. I'm fortunate to be his grand daughter, because of him, I always believes what he believe in, the pure kindness is important as it make the world a better place and everything around you seen to be more clear and genuine..
At this point, I doesn't know what to say,
I placed my hand on his shoulder, and said, "You are the best grand-father in the world"
Mum and sister then came out of toilet, and mum shocked when she saw grand-pa in the praying gesture.
She looked at me, and I shake my head and lip-sync "It's alright"
Nurse told me there isn't any doctor today, but the nurse going to take blood pressure later on.
I went to grand-pa, and tell him nicely.
"Let us get you just a bit of the noodles, try to eat a few mouthful. They going to do a check-up soon so you can probably go home tomorrow"
He did ate a few mouthful later on, or drink the soup. Very little but it's better than nothing.
Grandpa discharge & went home just before the Chinese new year.
We went to see him on Chinese new year, he is sitting on sofa..relaxing.
He look a bit better but his leg is swollen, I told him
"sometimes try move your feet like this when you sitting down, doing that help your blood on your feet circulate more as you haven't been moving much"
Wiggly my foot left, right and up, down gently...
he watch and follows...
And throughout the time he did it quite a few times on his own, makes me happy as he smile when he doing it everytime..
Love, lamapig.
No comments:
Post a Comment