Lamapig:
It's Saturday, time went so fast to me lately.
I received a message about my grandfather from my sister on Thursday night.
Grandpa in A&E emergency on Wednesday night. He had alzheimer last year, and acting strange at night is consider a routine now.
But on Wednesday night it's different, in the middle of the night when grandma and my uncle who lived there, were asleep. My grandma heard my grandpa crying, she went out and saw him flat on the ground in the hall crawling in tears. My grandma asked him what happen and he said he's in great pain and need to go to the toilet but he can't move as it's so painful he can only crawl.
My grandma then feel his stomach, it is solid hard and a big lump. Woke my uncle up and rush to A&E.
My sister works in NUH (Singapore National University Hospital) she knew the next day (Thursday) when she is at work that my grandpa is there, she messaged me at that time around in the morning. She went to visit after work.
According to the doctor they found tumor in his colon which cause him that pain and he won't be able to (lets use the word "business" which means urine and poo) do "business" and can only use a tube for now till he go through the operation.
But there is certain risk, as he is 82 years old and weak. Only way is perform a Stenting Procedure for him, which is inserting a tube in this intestine to help him able to do "business"like normal people. But if the procedure fail, he will be rush into operation immediately.
The whole time, we didn't tell Grandpa what happen to him, for his own good.
Grandpa wants to go home so badly, wants to urine for badly. He is crying and say he really want to go. But he can't. My sister was there at that time and she can't help her tears when she saw that.
Nurse and everyone there cannot do anything about him to keep in on his bed, my sister decide to call my mum to speak to him, and after the phonecall he went back to his bed quietly. Nurse wondering what was said to him, Mum said "Don't be like this, they say you are fine just need to stay in tonight and making sure you are ok, if everything is alright you can go home tomorrow"
After awhile, during the night I received another message from sister. The X-Ray is out, Doctor found that tumor might be cancer and arrange for family to come. I arrange a flight and rush back to Singapore the next day. When I'm there, he is asleep.. with a lot of families surrounding him.
I walked over, I saw my cousin
(she is same age with me who used to grew up together, since young she like to compete with me. Comparing the boyfriends we had and amount of money we made, she always ended up showing off and I always ended up losing so I'm not closed to her anymore because we are from different world as we have different view in life. She prefer being rich and center of attention and showing off her expensive branded bag, but i'm just very average person, but I know that i prefer being myself and use the money to help people)
with her expensive branded blouse, Gucci handbag and well-dressed, this is not my main concern but it's too flashy to not notice. I know i came for my grandpa so I don't really care and feel embarrassed what I am wearing.. However, she is speaking to the doctor at that time, I can't hear anything so my sister and I stood next to Grandpa..
He seen peaceful now, but the look of his sleeping face you felt he went through a lot of pain. But still we just stood there quietly and watch..
He then open his eyes, gentle smile and say..
"Have you eaten yet?" and unconscious right after..
My sister and I can't help and burst into tears, we went to corridor to try control ourselves.. But it's so hard.
Then when I went back, my cousin is there and done talking to the doctor. So i asked her, what did the Doctor says? She told me briefly and say to held a meeting with everyone outside.
She went, and gathered everyone around her with a paper in her hand saying
"Come come everyone, I going to tell you the information now"
"Ok good, I have speak to the Doctor so is my duties to tell you all now"
I wasn't there, I went to the doctor and he is showing the pictures of the X-ray to sister at that time.
He point the spot on the picture. It's on the right side of the lungs X-ray. A circle size of a 20 cents coin.
He then say, from my view of this tumor, about 80 percent based on my experience this is a cancer, however the microscope report will be out on Monday but I just telling you my view.
He continued.. If this is a cancer, it's spread to his lungs from his colon and it's spreading rapidly it is Fourth stage cancer.
My brother was behind me, and all of us repeat the word "4th stage"softly... and doctor say to advise that it's going to be a lot of pain and suffering to go through therapy after age 75, and normally it's advise to consider about letting the patient to go through peacefully instead of therapy.
After the conversation, I went to tell mum.. She actually knew something bad... She can't stand next to grandpa, she stood at the balcony and looking through the window at my grandpa and she's in tears..
we went to console her. Sister and I was upset and we know there isn't anything we could do.
It is sad as we not just wiping our own tears, we are wiping grandpa's tears as well. He has his eyes closed but he know everyone is there crying and he is sad and crying as well.
Every time i wipe his tears from corner of his eyes, double tears came out from mine...
and whispered to him, "Its going to be ok..."
My brother, sis and I went downstairs as my brother need a cigarette. We start saying how we need to not cry infront of him if not it would affect him as he will be sad.
So we went up trying to be open-minded and we doing well, till he open his eyes...
his eyeball moving around... slowly... and say again.."have you all eaten yet?" and all of us can't stop our tears again :( ....
Our grandpa and grandma always very closed to us, he is kindest man ever exist and we probably got it from him. He always tell us to be a nice person and as long we know what we do is right even though everyone is powerful, you still owe the true power of being true to yourself.
I know the chance is slim but I hope the 20% chance of him not having cancer is still there..
That is all for today, and I like to thank you for Mr. Grey, he is there talking to me on Skype and messages. I know he is very upset from what I told him, as his grandma who passed away last year the wound is still fresh.
I told Mr. Grey, thank you for being there for me, and I will always be there for you too.
Lots of love to Mr. Grey, and I love you my Grandpa no matter what happen..
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